Tarot for Talking to the Dead: How to Read for Your Ancestors Any Time of Year
Updated: 3 days ago
Everyone talks about the veil being thin at Samhain. And it is! But here's a little secret... the dead don't only pick up the phone on October 31st.
They show up on birthdays and anniversaries. In dreams. In the song that comes on in the grocery store and takes you out at the knees. And sometimes you just miss someone so much on a random Tuesday that you need to sit down and say hello.
Tarot is one of my favorite ways to do that. Not because the cards are a ouija board (please don't treat them like one), but because they give the conversation a shape. A place for the love to go.
Here's how I do it.
When to read for the dead
Any time it feels right. That said, a few windows feel extra open:
Samhain and Day of the Dead, when the whole world is remembering with you
The dark moon, the quiet, inward phase of the month when the light is gone and shadow work comes naturally
Their birthday or the anniversary of their passing
After a dream where they visited you
Liminal hours, like dusk or the middle of the night when you can't sleep anyway
Setting the space
You don't need anything fancy. You do need intention. Here's a simple setup:
Cleanse your space and your deck. Smoke, sound, a bowl of salt, or just opening the window and letting the cold air in.
Light a candle. White, black, or whatever color they loved.
Bring something of theirs. A photo, a piece of jewelry, a handwritten note, a teacup. Something that holds their energy.
Leave an offering. A glass of water at minimum. Their favorite snack, a splash of whiskey, flowers, coffee. (Dark chocolate is never the wrong answer.)
Set your boundaries. Say out loud that only loving, helpful spirits are welcome at your table. This isn't superstition, it's manners. You wouldn't leave your front door wide open either.
Opening the conversation
Hold your deck and call them in by name. Say their full name, how they're related to you, maybe a memory or two. Talk to them like they're in the room, because for this little while, they are.
Shuffle until it feels done. Then ask your question.
A tip: ask open questions. "What do you want me to know?" will always give you more than "Are you mad at me?" (They're not. Probably.)
Three spreads for connecting with your dead
The single card hello. For quick check ins, daily altar work, or when you're too tender for more.
What message do you have for me today?
The visit (three cards). My go to for anniversaries and birthdays.
How you are now
What you want me to know
How I can honor you
The ancestor spread (five cards). For Samhain or deeper work with your lineage.
The gift my ancestors passed down to me
The wound I'm ready to heal for the whole line
What they're proud of
What they're asking of me
How I carry them forward
Cards that often show up when the dead come through
Every reading is personal, but certain cards seem to raise their hands when spirits are near:
Death: transformation, and sometimes simply "yes, it's me"
Judgement: a call from the other side, reunion, being heard
Six of Cups: shared memories, childhood, the old days
Five of Cups: grief that needs to be felt, and the two cups still standing behind you
The Moon: dreams, intuition, messages that come in sideways
The Star: peace, healing, a sign they're okay
Court cards: sometimes a court card simply is them. If a King of Pentacles shows up and your grandpa was a stubborn, generous man who worked with his hands... well. Hi, Grandpa.
Pay attention to repeat cards, too. If the same card keeps appearing across readings, that's often their calling card.
Women worth calling in
Our ancestors aren't only the ones in our family tree. Many of us also have ancestors of spirit, the women whose courage cleared the path we walk now. If you'd like to invite one of them to your table, here are a few of mine, each with a card to call her in.
Anne Boleyn. Queen of England whose marriage changed the course of a nation and its church. She was executed in 1536 on charges most historians now believe were false, and the daughter she left behind grew up to be Elizabeth I. Card to call her in: Queen of Swords.
Princess Diana. She used her spotlight to sit with the people the world turned away from, holding the hands of AIDS patients when fear ran high and walking through a minefield to push for a ban on landmines. She died in 1997. Card to call her in: Queen of Cups.
Princess Angeline (Kikisoblu). The eldest daughter of Chief Seattle, the Duwamish and Suquamish leader the city is named for. When Native people were ordered out of Seattle, she stayed, living in a little waterfront cabin and selling her handwoven baskets until she died in 1896. Card to call her in: Strength.
Harriet Tubman. She escaped slavery, then went back again and again, guiding dozens of people north by the stars. Later she served the Union Army as a scout and spy. Card to call her in: The Star.
Shirley Chisholm. In 1968 she became the first Black woman elected to Congress, and in 1972 she ran for president when almost no one thought she should. Card to call her in: The Chariot.
Maya Angelou. Poet, memoirist, singer and dancer who turned years of silence in her childhood into some of the most beloved words in American literature. Card to call her in: The Magician.
Toni Morrison. Nobel Prize winning novelist whose masterpiece Beloved is, fittingly, a ghost story about a mother haunted by her past and by the cost of slavery. Card to call her in: The Moon.
Audre Lorde. A Black lesbian poet who called herself a warrior. She taught that caring for yourself isn't indulgence, it's survival, and a radical act. Card to call her in: The Tower.
Marsha P. Johnson. A Black trans woman and beloved figure of the Stonewall era, known for the flowers in her hair and for feeding and sheltering queer kids with nowhere else to go. In 1970 she and Sylvia Rivera started STAR together. Card to call her in: The Sun.
Sylvia Rivera. A Latina trans activist who fought for the people even the gay rights movement left behind: trans folks, drag queens and unhoused queer youth. Card to call her in: Knight of Wands.
Frida Kahlo. Mexican painter who turned her pain into fierce, colorful self portraits and broke every rule about how a woman should look and love. She's honored on altars every Day of the Dead. Card to call her in: Queen of Wands.
Georgia O'Keeffe. She painted flowers up close and sun bleached bones from the New Mexico desert, finding beauty in what had already died. Card to call her in: The Hermit.
Marie Curie. The first woman to win a Nobel Prize, and still the only person to win in two different sciences. Card to call her in: Eight of Pentacles.
Amelia Earhart. The first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic. She vanished over the Pacific in 1937 and somehow still feels like she's out there somewhere. Card to call her in: The Fool.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Supreme Court Justice who spent her life arguing that the law should treat women as equals. She died in 2020. Card to call her in: Justice.
Pull her card, set it on your altar beside her name, and ask what she wants you to know.
Closing the session
This part matters just as much as opening. Thank them out loud. Tell them you love them. Then let them know the conversation is over for now, and blow out (or snuff) the candle.
Ground yourself afterward. Eat something, drink water, put your bare feet on the floor or the earth. Leave the offering out overnight, then return it to the land or the trash with thanks.
And if the reading brings up big grief, let it. Tears are part of the ritual. Tarot can hold a lot, but it isn't meant to carry grief alone, so lean on your people, too.
A deck for the dark
I made Dark Days Tarot for the darkest days of the lunar cycle, for looking into our shadows for the answers that feed our deeper needs. It's a deck that's at home with grief, endings, and the things we don't say out loud. If you're looking for a deck to keep on your ancestor altar, I'd be honored if it was this one.
Samhain sale: 25% off everything sitewide through November 1, no code needed.
Want more seasonal rituals? Read my guide to the Wheel of the Year, or join Moonbeams for discount sales around every sabbat.
xx
Wren